There are days when life is unbearably hard. We carry around our old burdens like sacks of boulders, unwilling to set them free.
I know that I don’t need them,
but without them, how can I be me?
For most of my life, I have been my mother’s caregiver. Her guide…hoping, willing, trying…to set her free. A role I know I was never meant to play…or was I?
I have been strengthened &
The other week I went to visit her feeling so weighted down & heavy with resentment, going to see her mostly out of duty. As we go up to the deli, I see printed on the board:
“Be thankful for the obstacles in your life…they give you strength on your journey.”
Yes…Ok, God…you are right. It is something we hear again and again, isn’t it?
“That what doesn’t kill you, will make you stronger”
I sometimes get stuck in the old lies and hurts of the past. I even get angry at God, so I avoid him for awhile. But all that serves is to cause me more pain.
I get so tired of trusting in a plan that I can’t always see. I suppose it’s my old need to stay in control. When I struggle to surrender my control, I pray for Him to help me trust:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~Jeremiah 29:11
“We do not look at the things which are seen but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. ”
~2 Cor. 4:18
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” ~Proverbs 3:5-6
This song, Rise Up, has gotten me through this tough week. It reminds me to keep my eyes UP, focused on Him, His word, His light, His mercy, His ever present grace & love.
“When you don’t know how to surrender
Cause your whole life’s been a fight
When the dark holds you and you can’t break through
Cause you haven’t seen the light.
Open up your eyes…
You’ve got to rise up, rise up
When this life has got you down
You’ve got to look up, look up
When you search and nothing’s found
My eyes have seen the glory of the love that’s here and now
It’s coming down
So rise up now.
Yeah rise up now,
Oh rise up now.”
A poem I wrote this summer:
No one else
on the road
This heavy cross
Clinging to you
Made for You,
We were made